Follow the white rabbit

"Your spiritual awareness is about to deepen and so too will your awareness of the true extent of your capabilities.  Much of that which you experience over the coming months will have a magical effect on your life and the magic will also be felt by many around you.  Butterflies are a powerful symbol for you at present; symbolic of the transformation that awaits you.  From now on, take heart every time a butterfly flutters into your field of vision, for it confirms that you are on the right path."  

I received this message in my inbox from a friend I have recently been feeling pretty close to.  I received it after I saw her post the above photo and I commented about how I saw a butterfly this weekend and it was the strangest story:

I was running a trail.  It was a 13 mile run and had 2 very tough uphills involved.  3 miles of downhill followed by 2 miles of 10% grade uphill where I slowed to a fast walk.  I power hiked the hill and got to the top in much better time than my previous attempt 6 weeks earlier.  When I got to the top I slowed only to ingest some gel and take in the view and I was off downhill.  The running was hard, I was struggling to get a good breathing pace due to the rocks.  Soon it flattened out and my pace and breathing equalized.  The running was amazing, it consisted of single track trail through small rolling hills.  The sun had just come up and it was cool.  The sun began to touch my face and I smiled.  Just then I realized I had a visitor.  A small orange and black butterfly began fluttering in front of me.  At first I just kept my smile.  It was kind of funny because she looked fake.  Like she was animated.  Her wings were flapping so fast, what I thought of at the time was the white rabbit from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.  "I'm Late, I'm Late, I'm Late..."  That's when I realized,  I am running pretty fast.  My ears muted, as the music died out.  All I could hear was my breathing and it was calm and controlled.  My heart rate slowed and matched up well with my breaths.  Something was happening.  I was becoming me.  Something clicked and I felt like I was finally becoming a trail runner.   My winged friend was still beating away in front of me leading me towards my dreams.  Finally after 10 or more minutes she decided she could take no more and flew off and landed for a rest.  But She had shown me the way.  I completed the run 45 minutes faster than my previous attempt and I knew what I had to do and where I had to go.  But I didn't realize it until my friend sent me this message.  

Tonight some pals were over watching a game and we were talking about young people getting married and how crazy it is to get married at 20 or 21.  But in my head I was thinking I wish I had had that.  It makes you work toward something at one point you thought was good and worth it.  This is a choice many people make but it clearly wasn't the choice for me.  :)  I didn't get married.  I had chances but for some reason never did.  I made my choice.  Anyway my friend then said "a guy once said to me you don't even know who you are until you're 30".  And I thought about it and its true.  I'm not saying people cant be happy choosing their life mate at a young age.  I admire it, I know it can work.  But I cant go back.  I cant change the past and the future is an illusion.  All we can know is now.  I know I can put one foot in front of the other and keep moving even if I don't know where I will be when that step hits the ground.  My friend was right!  He didn't even know how true this rang for me specifically today.  I am finally figuring out who I am, what I'm here for, and what I need from a soul mate.  All of this in the course of a day.  Its been a big day.  

2 weeks until the race and I finally feel I am ready.  It will be a challenge, 18.6 miles will be my longest run yet.  But it wasn't until now that I knew I would finish it.  It wasn't until now that I realize this race was only the first step in my journey on the way to the top.